This is my first time reaching out to the eternal abyss. If you feel me on any level let me know... Please.
I just saw myself about twenty years from now. I recognized myself in an elder. It was the same self I have been familiar with since my early double digit years: Fully compassionate so much so that self does not exist. Merely, barley fighting for the right of self, or should I say, passively suggesting some respect as Mr. Disrespectful Womanizer controls and plunders over all that is valuable. His hurts, his pains are always so much more important and severe than ones self.
Does he have to destroy you to preserve ones self? Well does he? It seems the end result for him is the joined incineration of two selves.
She panged for the opportunity to soothe his past. She struggled to provide him with enough to enjoy his present. She prayed for abundant wealth in his future more than Jesus prayed to cleanse our souls. Twas no use, for all that she gave would never be enough and although nice words he often spoke regarding his wife, his actions provoked a defense around the heard which came in the form of a downing substance in a brown paper bag.
She chases him. Always chasing. Chasing not the being he shows to the world but the soul rarely exposed. She sees this always. This is her motivation. This is her prize for a life of self sacrificing damnation. This is the prize she will never win... We gotta face the facts ladies. These men don't give a damn about you. And if they do it won't be you they have now decided to fall for, it will be who they have turned you into.
So, join me in a round of the paper-bag stash or fight for your right to be, and be and Be. Loved.
I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I will be free, my heart is with the Blue J who carries my voice for me.